A Grumpy Veteran's Guide to Gardening and Drinking

This isn't your grandma's gardening book—unless your grandma was a bootlegger with a green thumb and a grudge against sobriety. It's a manic love letter to the soil-stained lunatics who apple seeds in the dead of night, dreaming of cider strong enough to dissolve marital disputes. You may find yourself captivated by every word as you start reading the stories of how a cantaloupe saved the world. Or why vegans can't eat figs. Or how parsley was involved in the massacre of as many as 40,000 people. Don't worry. Someone will yell at you to hurry up and get off the toilet.Inside these pages of barely contained chaos, you'll discover recipes that sound like mad science experiments gone delightfully wrong. You'll discover gardening methods and philosophies that will make engineers squirm with delight. You'll endure deep dives into why those hot chicks are trying to cure everything with essential oils and whether the science backs them up. So sit back, pour a cold one, and prepare to dig into this underwhelming masterpiece that you may start referring to as your spirit guide. Your liver will never forgive you, but your taste buds might send you a thank-you note. Read more